One of the most frequent questions I am asked is about the need for hiring an attorney. This is a hard question to answer without knowing the specifics of each case and the intensity of the conflict. However, the reality is that everyone is usually capable of completing their own paperwork (together is the preference) and filing that paperwork at the Court. The process itself is not the problem it is the agreements that are the issue. Conflict is the issue.
I guess the question to ask yourself then is… are you able to work with the other party/parent to create agreements that are best for your children? If not, why not?
Expense becomes a huge factor in this decision. Each party is to hire their own attorney but sometimes only one will which means the other party is pro se. Is this a bad thing? An attorney’s job is to help you get what you are entitled to according to the law in your state. However, attorneys fight for you against the other party. What ends up happening is a finite mindset where parties feel the need to ‘win.’
FYI….there is no winning in divorce. The sooner parties can remove that thought from their minds the better. Life is about infinite mindset – we come and go in each other’s lives, share experiences, enjoy our children, and create a life we want to live. Focusing so hard and strong on ‘the win’ is often where attorneys focus their energy. After all, you hire that person to get you what you feel you deserve. Motions are filed. Responses to motions are filed. Court dates are scheduled. Judges weigh in. Think about the life you want to live and decide if the cost – financially, mentally, and emotionally is worth approaching your divorce like this- with a finite mindset. Then you can decide if you need that attorney or not.
Phone calls with kids